Tangent Dragon: Attraction
Okay, so I had this random urge to talk about my sexuality and all that other stuff that’s related to attraction. So I am going to talk about my feelings. Because I feel like it. Which is reason in and of itself for me. Don’t venture past this Read More if you don’t want me to hear me talk as honestly as I can about every aspect of my thoughts.
Told my mom I’m Asexual.
In a conversation where we went from talking about tea to talking about boobs (with sexuality in the middle). This mystical method of conversing that only my mother and I will understand.
And now I’m out as Ace to her. But whether or not she will remember is another question. But, overall, she seemed pretty cool about it. She just smiled and acted like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Cool.
National Coming Out Day is October 11, 2011 (U.S.) and October 12, 2011 (U.K.)
Made an ace-themed friendship bracelet. But I didn’t have gray (it was a kit, so I substituted a light purplish-gray). I’m gonna wear it forever.
Types of Attraction
Anyone who has spent any time in ace space knows that we talk about multiple kinds of attraction: about being romantically attracted to someone but not sexually attracted to them, about being aesthetically attracted to someone but not romantically attracted to them, etc. The ones that usually get all the noise are romantic and sexual attraction, to the point that I’ve seen people say “if you’re attracted to the same sex, you’re ___. If you’re attracted to the opposite sex, you’re ___.” (There are, of course, a lot of other things wrong with that argument. I’m picking one for the purpose of this post.) That sort of statement, or the one about “aromantic aces aren’t attracted to anyone,” always makes me stop and scratch my head, because of course I’m attracted to people, of all different genders. I’m just not romantically or sexually attracted to them.
So that long-winded preface is by way of saying, what other kinds of attraction do you all generally experience, or, what other kinds of attraction are significant to you? What other kinds of attraction do you group into separate things?
These are some, off the top of my head:
- aesthetic attraction: people are pretty, and I want to stare at their picture
- emotional attraction: I meet someone, and we just seem to click, but I’m not into them romantically or sexually
- intellectual attraction: I have a massive crush on someone’s brain, and want to play with ideas with them, separate from what I think of their looks or personality
I think that middle one in particular could be expanded into all sorts of different feelings. Thoughts?
ETA: This shouldn’t be controversial, but I’m not tagging it as “peaceful ace” because I can’t control what people say on reblogs with that tag attached, obviously.
The fact that only the big two types of attractions (those being sexual and romantic) seem to completely define everything has been annoying me. The three listed here are the ones that I considered to be other good ones, as well. Although I called intellectual attraction something else. I think it was mental attraction. But intellectual is better.
Thank you for compiling this list!! People need to understand that there are other possibilities under the label attraction!
I’m not so great with words, but I will say this: I refuse to believe that there isn’t room in this world for more love, support, compassion, and understanding. People of every orientation deserve respect, and we can support each other on this mutual goal.
Love is love. Love for a lover, a partner, a friend, a family, a community, a passion, an idea, life. We share this world, we share love. It isn’t always simple or easy, but we are in this together. I’m aromantic and asexual, and I know this to be true.
Ace Secrets: Please take the Asexual Awareness Week Asexy Census!
Asexual Awareness Week (October 23-29) has created a census for asexual, demisexual and grey-a identified people.
To be scientifically representative, the census needs at least 500 responses. If this happens the results can go towards future academic research into asexuality, and give us a…
(Source: delicate-corpse)
Labels and categories do not define you, they describe you. They’re a shorthand for expressing the complexity of your identity to others and a springboard from which you can explore and understand yourself. If a label isn’t working for you then you don’t have to use it. If a group is telling you there’s only one true way to be your kind of person, you don’t have to listen to them!
(Source: asexuality.org)
